Heres To The Tired Mommas

For two days in a row I've been sick in bed with nothing better to do than to drown out the noise of what sounds like the lost boys taking over my house with mindless time spent on Pinterest and Facebook. And. let. me. tell. you. something.

I have never felt more overwhelmed and angered by how often social media is being used to platform this crazy idea that us moms are supposed to have this thing figured out by now. And if we don't, theres a blog for that.

Can't potty train your unruly child? Google it.

Can't figure out how to fit some good ol' fashioned time with Jesus into your day? Check your facebook feed and you'll find something catchy that will remind you that you aren't doing enough of it.

Have no idea what to make for dinner? Better Pinterest that. Im finding out that we don't really pin and post about the nights that we order pizza from the cheapest and closest location to our house just because we'd rather not walk into the grocery store with wild pirates in tow.

But theres this thing... this thing called real-life that people aren't face-booking, or blogging about, or pinning on Pinterest.


We start forgetting that being a good mom isn't about meeting everyone else's standards.


And in the middle of it all, somehow we let all of those opinions, mommy blogs, pinterest boards, and everyone's "just sayin" opinions take over our  hearts and we convince ourselves that we will never be able to do this mom thing good enough.

Heres what I do know:

I know that if we keep listening to everyone else's ideas and opinions on how we can be the best parent there is, we will live miserably and we will drown in our own self doubt. Most of us mommas are already drowning in what everyone else is telling us to measure up to and we just can't quite admit that.

I know that no Pinterest board, extra spiritual blog post, or any special parenting book will be the magic cure for my children staying out of a therapists office. Every family has their crazy, lets just be okay with that for a moment.

I know that its unacceptable that I feel the need to justify to people and family around me whether or not I chose to work full time outside of the home, or stay at home with my kids. Whether my kids go to full time daycare, have their own nanny, or I stay at home with them all day shouldn't be an open door for other's opinions on what might be best for our family.

Whether or not I decide to cook an organic meal from scratch for my kids (who probably wouldn't eat it anyways) or order take out for the third night in a row because its not grocery shopping day yet shouldn't have any bearing on my worth as a mom, but it does.

And in the middle of all of these Facebook shares, pinning on Pinterest, and comments that we let yell so loudly into our souls, we forget what on earth we are doing. 

Y'all. We were not created to be everything to everyone.

Lets chose our people wisely.

Lets find some women in our lives who can speak truth in love to us when we might not be ready to hear it.

Lets meet with friends who will encourage us, and laugh at our ridiculous mom stories without fear of judgement.

Lets be people who stop listening to everyone and everything around us and drown out the noise with the absolute truth of who God has created us to be.

Lets find our identity in who created our identity and stop looking for the next great book to fix that for us.

Lets be people who stop judging and start loving.

So heres to you mom who made it to bedtime. It's not easy, and you are doing this thing well. You will not be perfect at it, and you were not created to do this thing alone.

Its time to drown out the noise, find your people, and love your people well.

We're Not That Different From Each Other

Hebrews 12:1-3 (The Message)
Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

Hebrews 11 
1. Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.

By faith Abel..
By faith Enoch..
By faith Noah..
By faith Abraham..
By faith Sarah..
By faith Isaac..
By faith Jacob..
By faith Joseph..
By faith Moses..
By faith the walls of Jericho fell..
By faith the prostitue Rahab..

I walked through the front door of my house and had already changed my mind. I had already doubted, I was sinking in fear and all of the lies that I allow to direct my thoughts on a daily basis and they had all consumed me. I wasn't sure I wanted this as badly as I had thought I did before. 

Surrounded by 1,200 women in downtown Austin this weekend we were filled, challenged, and sent forward to run our race. We watched leaders hands trembling on stage, admit to standing on a rock unsure of what the future will hold, but completely in assurance of who holds our future. We were reminded that we are the generation who can either choose to shrink back or to get in the race and run hard. We can run this race together. 

Its amazing what being around other women who are authentically processing inwardly and outwardly how God is changing their hearts can do to your heart. It gives you strength, courage, and fills your heart with an authenticity that seems to be missing in daily life. It gives you real people to run your race with. You know that you are not alone. 

And then I walked through my front door. 

I remembered that I had valued an easy paycheck over my dreams. I remembered that there were bills to pay, nice furniture I dreamed of owning one day, and a plan for my future that had no place with these dreams I had thought about all weekend. I was still processing what I was carrying on my heart this weekend and the more I thought about it, the more it became much easier to set those dreams aside as "crazy" and be done with it. 

I feel absolutely crazy. Dreaming big dreams feels so unnatural. My deepest insecurities are rising to the surface. And then I remember....

I remember that this hall of faith we read about in Hebrews was made up of sinful, insecurity-filled people who chose something different.. obedience.

They put their toe in the race, not even running full speed, and God did the rest.

They decided that crazy was going to have to be okay with them.

They trusted in a God that was greater, that His promises were stronger, and they may not even get to see the end result of their obedience and faith in their lifetime. They trusted, and they obeyed.

By faith, they obeyed.

My dreams feel absolutely crazy. They feel impossible. I am writing them down, because tonight Im doubting. Tonight I tried to convince myself that it was much easier to ignore this dream, and it probably is. I keep remembering my insecurities, my past, the lies that tell me I will never be good enough..and I am ready to shrink back. I keep telling myself that this isn't part of the big plan. It isn't part of my plan.

I am burning with an unfulfilled responsibility to challenge our generation to get real with their life. To get real with where they've been, and where they are going. To throw off the shame, the regret, the judgement, the fears that come with telling our stories. Because stories can change lives. Stories reveal what is true, what is tough, and what God will always work through.

Stories change people.

Somewhere along the way we've make it seem okay to tell ourselves and the generations coming up behind us that our stories are something to be protected, to be hidden, and to pretend like they never happened. Stories are not valuable to us, they shame us.

These stories, these people we read about in Hebrews, their stories are real. The prostitute, the crazy man building a boat because he heard God tell him about a flood coming, the murderer, they were all used by God in these amazing ways because He redeemed their story. They could walk forward because they refused to be defined by the shameful parts of their story and they were confident in their future.

Its time.

Its time to start dealing with our past, and our future. Its time to start telling our stories. Its time to stop hiding from the shame, the approval of others, the hurt and the time it will take to really deal with what our life from birth to now might have looked like. Its time to start getting real with the people around us.

If we can't show people a God who works through real life, through our sins and imperfections, who takes whats disgusting and completely redeems it, what can we show them?

The funny thing is, once we start sharing our stories we begin to realize that we aren't all that different from each other. The stories may be completely different, the circumstances, the words we use, but at the end of it all we find this common thread. We are all imperfect people searching for what our purpose is. We are empty, and need to be filled.

I listened to two women share their stories this weekend, and not even their complete story. Just a part of it. It was just enough to show everyone listening that a former prostitute and a girl growing up in a safe and encouraging home life could both find themselves at the same exact crossroad and a deep need for Jesus.

You see, we're not that different from each other. So let's stop hiding our stories.

Let's stop letting Facebook and Instagram be a substitute for real life.

Lets get real, because how will others see a real God in our fake stories?

If God is Real, Then What?

In less than 24 hours I will be sitting in a venue with one thousand other women who are expectant, terrified, and ready to unleash on dreams that feel way too big all at same time. I can say that because for weeks and months leading up to this event I have been hearing and reading their stories of how they found a ticket, how they felt called to come to Austin, how all signs have pointed them to this place. These are women who know that there has to be more, that dreaming bigger isn't breaking any special code rules, and that dreaming bigger is meaningless unless we move forward. We have to move forward.

We are grouped into a generational stereotype that says my generation of women, or 20-30 somethings in general, are self centered and the most over parented generation of our time. While those may be true, generalizations are what gives us a good excuse to sit on the back row. It gives us an "out". But this weekend, and from here on out, we refuse to sit on the back row.

This twenty to thirty-something generation, including these women gathering together tomorrow for a weekend of who-knows-what-will-happen, are ready to show others and the generations coming behind us that we believe God is real, He is moving, and that we are a part of that story.

This is not by accident. Our stories are not by accident, and we can chose to get on this train or get off at the next stop. But I can't miss this, and I don't want to miss this.

So as the true introvert that I am, afraid to talk to strangers because of another new conversation that takes so much energy to have, I am going this weekend expecting nothing and everything all at the same time. How could you not? Surrounded by dreamers, by visionaries, by ordinary and imperfect women who recognize that we can either sit around and watch others live out God's purpose for their life and cheer on the sidelines or we can jump up and run with them. We can run our guts out, because we are doing it together. We were made for community.

This weekend we are meeting together, regardless of whether you are watching the conference on a computer screen, a church venue thats hosting the simulcast, or if your sitting on the front row at Austin City Music Hall  .. this weekend is about community. This weekend is built on knowing that God's story and our story..it isn't for nothing. This weekend is a reminder that we can't do this alone. This weekend is a visual example that every single individual, uniquely made with gifts and stories, with hurts and hopes, will have to recognize that we can't do it by ourselves.

I'm going this weekend knowing that I am a sinful, imperfect person with a story full of pain and promises, and I know my story wasn't an accident. I know my story was meant to be used for God's glory. I have no idea how, why, or when. I have no idea whether that means it will affect one person or a thousand. I don't even care. I know that there is purpose, there is promise in pain, and there is a God who is real.

And if God is real, then what?